Yoko Ono's Appearance At The Olympics...

... opening ceremonies brought back some scary childhood memories. When I was a little kid, my uncle decided to terrorize me.

He lured me into my grandparents basement. Then lead me into the pool table room and then switched off the lights. Said he wanted me to hear something. It was pitch black except for the stereo's power button ominously glowing in the dark. It cast an eerie light on my grandpa's creepy miniature Easter Island/Tiki sculpture. He pulled an album sleeve off the shelf, unsheathed it, and then placed the record on the turntable. Static sizzled on the speakers. The Easter Island sculpture suddenly looked evil.

That is when is happened. Unintelligible words to crazy music. I had no idea what or who I was listening to. Panic stricken, I ran out of the room and upstairs to my nanna's kitchen.

I was later told the song was Yoko Ono's KISS KISS KISS. Now under the most normal circumstances, the song isn't that scary. And I have nothing against Yoko. But when you are a little kid, in the basement, in the dark, with a scary Easter Island statue it is DAMN FRIGHTENING!

Now back to your scheduled Olympic programming...