Canadian TV

I was feeling lazy and hungry earlier, so I decided to order some Swiss Chalet. For those that don't know, Swiss Chalet is a Canadian restaurant chain that specializes in chicken and rib dishes. Typically I order a sandwich or chicken breast with a baked potato or fries. It really is good! Ok so I'm ordering and I get to the final check out page to see this advertisement:

Swiss Chalet has a 24/7 TV channel. Um. Ok.


According to CBC NEWS:
For those of you tired of TV shows interrupting your commercials, Swiss Chalet has the answer: a 24-hour chicken channel.
Starting Monday, the Canadian family restaurant fires up a constant televised loop of 12 roasters turning on a spit to promote the chain.
The 13-week broadcast will be available to Rogers digital customers in Ontario on channel 208 and is part of a broad marketing campaign.
A Rogers spokeswoman says the channel is akin to its fireplace, sunset and aquarium channels.
Those channels feature hypnotic images of a crackling fire, a beach at dusk and fish swimming in an aquarium.
The Rotisserie Channel will feature two rows of chickens roasting in an open-flame oven.

Ok, I realize some Canadian TV can be a little weird at times. (ie Polka Dot Door) But a roasting chicken channel? Seriously? I really do not want to be lulled to sleep by watching cooking bird flesh. I'm sorry but you cannot compare that to a sunset.

And I thought The Beachcombers was bad. Sheesh.

Only Canadians Will Understand This

I get paranoid now whenever I smell burnt toast. Bloody Canadian heritage commercial!
For those that are not Canucks, this is why:

Let's Watch An Infomercial

Ah yes, I'm up late working again. I usually have the TV on in the background when I use my laptop. Last night a rather amusing infomercial came on. It was for some sort of electronic kitchen knife.

For the first few minutes it was the regular infomercial crap. Blah blah, can do this, blah blah, can do that...etc...Then it started to get a little weird:

The chef starts slicing a piece of pizza horizontally between the toppings and the crust leaving a measly triangle of pizza dough behind. "You too, can cut carbs with our electric knife..." Um, maybe you could cut carbs if you stopped eating pizza altogether Fat Ass. Cutting part of the crust off isn't going to help if you plan on eating the ENTIRE pizza.

Then the chef starts severing bread slices horizontally. "You too can cut paper thin slices of bread" The bread is now way too thin to make any kind of sandwich.

Various images of fruit, vegetables and other soft products are shown with the knife going bad ass on them. Why one needs an electric knife to cut soft melon, I'll never know.

Now the kicker was the tag line used in the presentation: "Even if you've NEVER used a knife before..."

What the hell? Who has NEVER used a knife? And, would you really want to give an ELECTRIC, SAWING knife to someone who has never used a regular knife before???

I don't know.

Maybe they were marketing to babies?

Future Reality TV Shows

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Reality TV's latest craze seems to involve spin-offs of current hit shows.
First, there was Dancing With The Stars now in pre-production is Skating With Celebrities. What next? Interpretive dance with the Stars?

I will now present you with my predictions for future Reality TV spin-off shows...

From the makers of Fear Factor:
BEER FACTOR - Tight rope walking and 7 pints. Need I say more?
Queer Factor - The only show where it really is ok to scream like a girl.
Lear Factor - Frustrated actors compete to win a role in a regional summer stock production of Shakespeare's King Lear. (Prediction - Cancelled)

From The producers of The Amazing Race:
The Amazing Racist - Teams travel the world in a race to see who can alienate themselves first from other cultures

And for the first time ever: Big Brother Canadian Edition:
12 hosers, uh...Contestants monitored live 24/7 discuss Beer, Hockey and Beer eh. General politeness ensues.

;)